Back in the UK.

I'm home safe. Thanks to Sacha for letting us crash in London.
No more posts for a bit, but the phone's on if you need to get in touch.

It's only rock n roll...

Tour cancelled due to (my tour manager has told me to say) "unforseen circumstances".

Mike and I arriving Stanstead Airport tomorrow at 2300 (GMT). So from then on you can ring my mobile and I will answer.

Will make my way up to Liverpool from there by coach or similar...

MINIPIG

Currently in Turku, home of the mighty Boomhauer. Looks likely that I'll get to go see their gig tomorrow and arrangements have been put in place for Mike and I to watch the FA cup on saturday. My body seems to be adjusting to my strict diet of yoghurt, muslei and meatballs in bread rolls. Our drummer got fired for being an unprofessional shag sack. Turns out he thought touring HAD to be a six week long party and that the rest of the bus were the arseholes for wanting to sleep after working for 14 hours. He did no lifting carrying or helping whatsoever. "I just play drums, I'm not fucking carry anything. I've play for 5000 people". He always played totaly drunk. He had some proper comedy moments but I was in my bunk when he got told to get his stuff together and didn't bother getting up tp say goodbye. So if you're reading this Tommi: Clean your flat (your cats deserve better) and buy some fucking cases for your drums!
All things aside, he's a decent bloke but should maybe consider the flaws in a diet consisting of vodka and arm exercises.

Eggers can't be choosers...

Been a fair few days but I've finally managed to get some web access to let everyone know that yes, I am in Finland on the bus safe and sound... Everyone's getting on well despite the fact that the bus broke down twice in one day (we're getting a better one apparently). I'm also happy to report that the bus trouble was nothing to do with Mike's (great) driving and was more to do with the fact that the bus is SHEEEEEEITE.
Currently on an off day which has consisted of a swim, sauna and barbecue. I thought I'd be freezing but the sun is cracking the proverbial flags. The Fins are lovely and we've already made a couple of friends. One being Johnni (note to self, check spelling) who as a biomechanics and nano technology student read a paper written by a school friend of mine (Neil Hughes)! Small world indeed.
Most on bus entertainment is provided by Billy, our singer, who was gigging in that late eighties/early nineties LA scene. He has tons of qual stories about the Whiskey, Roxy and bands like Guns N Roses, Poison, Hanoi Rocks... Mental.
additionally attention commanding is our drummer Tommi, who is somehow ALWAYS drunk. And by drunk I mean SLAMMED. He's like a crazy Finnish vodka swilling cock flashing drummer channeling the spirit of Father Jack. Lovely bloke, just mad as a sack of spiders. I swear he has his piece out so much we see it more than his girlfriend.
Strobe is trying (with some success) to control or steer him towards a more sober existence, but I don't fancy her chances! Besides I think she likes a challenge.
Everyone (even Billy and Strobe) have trouble understanding Mike and I what with the accent exceedingly rare and all that. I even got asked to speak American English by a girl at one of the shows. Que a bracing missive from me.
We're in Boomhauer's home town on Friday and will (hopefully) get to see their gig that night. "Party! Party! Party!"

I want a riot of my own...

Here's an cut and pasted section of the email I got from my little brother yesterday:

"...i have to be the bearer of bad news, you see those other kids who live with Kari, well another one joined the roster and sided with the other two leaving Kari three against one, and this new girl probably wanted to fit in so they planned everything and anyway they all went the shop wednesday night at eight and then the two who trashed her room stood by and watched this new girl beat Kari up. Kari was left disentorientated wandering the streets and some women found her at ELEVEN meanwhile the other three had been back at the home since NINE and they said that Kari had met friends and gone off."

Turns out Kari also had concussion and a split lip and various other bruises. In short she's taken a proper beating. Here's me being flown to Helsinki on Tuesday and I'm worring about how much money I'm going to earn on tour. Now I feel like a tit. Perspective is a funny thing. To everyone who will see my sister before I do: Give her a hug from me.

On a different note, tomorrow is the 1st of May. In Berlin that means a free punk festival, people taking the day off work and the odd anarchist causing a ruckus with the police. I intend to see all the free music I can and attend the coolest street parties possible looking like as much of a tourist as possible that I might not get mistaken for a crime... inal... a criminal. Some peeople have said it can be quite mental, others have said it's nothing to worry about. I'll keep my passport on me just in case and stick near Strobe and her mates. They're a good bunch.

Time for some humor methinks. The U-bhan ticket inspectors are all plain clothes undercover ticket inspectors. It freaked me out when this random guy in jeans and a t-shirt stood up, made a grand statement in German and then everybody who knew what was going on showed him their tickets... So German...

Faster than a lazer bullet...

Wondering around Friedrichshain today I learned two things, one bad, one (possibly) good.
Bad thing: Walking past a book shop I noticed Jamie Oliver has his books translated into German. On behalf of the UK I'd like to apologise to all German speaking people for Jamie Oliver.
Good thing: There is a cafe near to Faming Squeegee called "Rockcafe Halford". Yes, that's right Priest fans! A Rob Halford themed rock cafe bar thing! Don't know if it's a gay bar or not, will have to get a photo of it to show you the larger than life statue of Rob in the door way looking hell bent for leather!

Also, as the tour approaches some even better news! We needed a driver for the nightliner, we hired the artist formerly known as Air Force Mike! Should be mental! What's more mental is that strobe is off to Holland for the first two days of the tour to do lights for Fear Factory! Nice work if you can get it! And we all wish her fun times with Burton and company...
Right, I'm off to take a photo of Rockcafe Halford!

Will Berlin be like Swansea?

I'm here safe in Berlin, spending most of my time at Flaming Squeegee, a t-shirt/merch shop run by Strobe and her buddy and business partner, Jens.
The first day I got here Strobe being Strobe had me guestlisted to a gig and booked me on a month's tour with her. Nice. I fly out to Helsinki, Finland on the 2nd May. The band's called Tragic Romance (have a listen to them on myspace, I reckon they sound sort of 'Gothly Crüe') and although I've only exchanged emails with them, they seem like a bunch of nice guys.
Tom told me to look out for a bar he'd drank in. Couldn't remember the name or where in Berlin it was but told me to look out for the metal dragon's head that breathes fire across the bar. Well, it's called Cafe Zapata and I found it... By accident. A couple of nights ago Strobe was lighting a gig and asked me to come along and put me on the guestlist (again, nice). By now my complete lack of bearings in Berlin had been getting on my nerves, jumping on the u-bhan to go underground and randomly surface somewhere else doesn't exactly get you the lay of the land. So I decided to walk from Flaming Squeegee in Friedrichshain to Cafe Zapata in Mitte via Karl Marx Allee and Alexanderplatz. Once I got there I was greeted with the news that I would be doing lights for the support band and that there was a fire breathing metal dragon in the bar. My first lighting gig in Berlin and of all the places it could of been it was the one place Tom told me to look out for. That made me smile.
I've also been trying to score a bicycle (or 'fahrrad') off Berlin's freecycle but my woeful German skills are not paying the proverbial bills. A bike is easily the best way to get around this city, the roads are pretty safe and there are no big hills to worry about so I'd better buy Jens a beer when we go to watch Liverpool inn a bit so he can be my translator/bike locator man.
Speaking of Liverpool, I'll finish this entry here or I'll miss kick off...
COME ON THE REDS!